Wow! January 1, a new day and a new year! I am so excited for all that 2018 holds!
A few months ago on a Saturday morning after the laundry was going and the kitchen was clean I retreated to our bedroom and started crying.
I wanted a new life.
In that moment I really wanted to run away from my life. Away from the PTSD, the money stress, the stress of not knowing if Griff was going to find a job, of having a baby, basically I wanted to run away from my problems. And then, as the puppy came in and licked my face I wondered, for a split second, what it would be like to leave my life and just start over somewhere new. Would I be able to do it? But as soon as those thoughts entered my mind, they left as I was hit with the realization that it wasn’t my life that I wanted to run away from.
It was myself.
I have an amazing husband who I love. A puppy who sometime’s drives me crazy but who is the best snuggler when I’m having nightmares. We’re going to have a baby girl in the next few weeks. The list goes on and on for things that I’m grateful for, for things that I wouldn’t want to change. But in that moment I realized I wanted to run away from myself.
Away from all of the complaining, whining and excuse making that seemed like an endless cycle. When did I become this person? I wondered. The woman who was nasty and mean when she got too tired. The woman who felt burned out by the expectations that she’d put on herself, to have a perfectly clean home and a home cooked meal every day and working full time and growing a human… In that quiet moment as the tears slid down my face I realized just how unhappy I was, and how something needed to change. I wanted a new life, a chance to really change.
I read Lara Casey’s most recent blog series all about setting goals for 2018 that will help you cultivate what matters.
And bam… That was exactly what I needed! I finally found a new way to set goals. A new way to think about what I truly what to do in my life and how to do them. I’ve always loved to-do lists and checklists, but to be honest, those things have been bogging me down lately. They haven’t been doing what I need them too.
A New Life:
So, we moved to Colorado last week, and in the next month, we’ll be having a baby and Griffin will be starting his new job. In so many ways we are actually starting a new life, and at the same time, I’m changing my life personally because it’s time. Time to let go of the negative, the old ways of thinking, of doing things. It’s time to look for the good and share that with others. It’s time to celebrate the ABUNDANCE of my life.
A B U N D A N C E
this is the word that I picked for my theme of 2018. I want to celebrate and appreciate the good in my life and look for ways to cultivate and make changes in the areas that have been lacking. Right now I don’t have the money to drop on a Powersheet’s planner by Lara Casey, but I went step by step in her blog series and today I wanted to share my goals for 2018 with you. (In explaining my goals, I’ll be following the prompts that Lara gives on her blog.)
Goal 1: Read the Bible. I’m going to read the Bible chronologically, as I continue to read the Book of Mormon. I’ll be keeping a daily study journal to record thoughts, scriptures, and promptings.
Why? I want to strengthen my faith and my relationship with God. I’ve been so far away from God, and just in the past few months, I’ve realized how much I need God in my life. In Sunday school we’ll be studying the Old Testament, but I wanted to take the time to dig deeper and study the Bible myself.
The positive effect taking action on this goal may have on my life and others: My faith will be strengthened, and I hope that the faith of our family will be strengthened as well. I will be better at recognizing God’s hand in my life.
How will I feel at the end of this year having made progress on this goal: Strengthened. Empowered. More willing to trust in God and His plan.
Starting Steps: I joined a group on Facebook who is reading the Bible this year as well to help myself stay accountable. Today I read the first 3 chapters in Genesis to get started, and I’ll continue to follow the reading schedule.
How I will know I accomplished or made progress on this goal: I will make progress by reading every day, and use my scripture journal to share my insights.
Encouraging words: “Wherefore, I said unto you, feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.” 2 Nephi 32:3
How I will celebrate at the end of 2018: I will share my testimony during church in January 2019 and I will find a new + nice journal for my scripture study in 2019.
Goal 2: Cultivate Gratitude. This includes keeping a daily gratitude journal, thankful texts each night with my sister McKenna, monthly posts on my blog and thank you cards to friends and family.
Why? I’ve become such a Negative Nancy in the past year or so and it’s finally time to make a change. I want to spend 2018 acknowledging and recognizing the good (and hard) things in my life. I want to be grateful.
The positive effect taking action on this goal may have on my life and others: The biggest thing that this will do is help me to stop dumping all of my problems on Griffin. He won’t have to listen to my complaints and excuses and that will help us grow as a couple. Being grateful will not only change my attitude, but I believe it will also change my life.
How will I feel at the end of this year having made progress on this goal: Grateful, blessed, abundant.
Starting Steps: 1. Put my journal on my nightstand so that I remember to write in it at the end of the night.
How I will know I accomplished or made progress on this goal: I’ll have a record in my journal to see all the things I’ve been grateful for this year. My attitude towards life will have also changed, mainly, I’ll have stopped complaining.
Encouraging words: “Gratitude is a Spirit-filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God.” – Gratitude: A Path to Happiness
How I will celebrate at the end of 2018: I’m not sure yet, any ideas?
Goal 3: Create a simple and abundant home space. This will happen through daily, weekly and monthly goals that I’ll be sharing throughout the year!
Why? I want our home to be a place filled with love, laughter, and faith. Our home should be a place where we feel peace and joy. A place where we focus on our relationships, the space we live in, the food we eat and how we feel. Our home needs to be a place of refuge.
The positive effect taking action on this goal may have on my life and others: We will grow closer as a family as we simplify our home life. My relationship with Griffin will be strengthened. We will grow together as we begin to raise our daughter.
How will I feel at the end of this year having made progress on this goal: Peace at home. Instead of feeling bogged down by all that I “have to do” at home, I want to feel at ease and know that I am focusing on the things that really matter most.
Starting Steps: 1. Social Media free weekends. 2. Think of date ideas with Griffin. 3. Start making the bed every morning (starting today!)
How I will know I accomplished or made progress on this goal: We will feel lighter as we won’t be surrounded by clutter. We will spend more time together, Griffin and I, focused on building our friendship and relationship. We will feel a connection to our daughter. And we will recognize what matters most, like spending time together and doing the dishes later.
Encouraging words: “One of the greatest blessings we can offer to the world is the power of a Christ-centered home where the gospel is taught, covenants are kept, and love abounds.” – For Peace at Home
How I will celebrate at the end of 2018: We will sit down together as a family, and possibly with good friends and family, and have a party with our favorite meal and activity.
Goal 4: Write a book. I’ve been wanting to write a book for as long as I can remember. In 2016 I participated in NaNo and completed a draft of a novel, in 2017 I participated in NaNo again but did not finish the novel (instead I worked on 3 different ones.) This year, however, instead of fiction, I’m going to be writing something different. I want to tell my story in a way that I never have before. I won’t be focusing on the abuse but rather the healing and hope I’ve found.
Why? For almost 5 years I’ve felt the nudge to write and share my story. In 2016 I started to open up more publically, even though it was incredibly terrifying. But it’s time. I hear the words inside my head, calling me, willing me to write my story and share what I’ve learned.
The positive effect taking action on this goal may have on my life and others: As I’ve been thinking about this book I want to write, I’ve been thinking about how there’s actually one person who I really want to write this book for. I hope it will help her. I also hope that I’ll be able to share it with more people and inspire them as well.
How will I feel at the end of this year having made progress on this goal: Complete. This book has been on my mind for so long. Writing it will not be easy, but it is possible. Writing my story will also help my healing journey.
Starting Steps: 1. Brainstorm which stories/experiences I’d like to include. 2. Create an outline. 3. Start writing after that.
How I will know I accomplished or made progress on this goal: I will have a finished draft (at least draft 1) by the end of the year. Depending on when I finish, I’d also like to start revising and editing.
How I will celebrate at the end of 2018: I’ll treat myself to a book that I’ve been wanting to read or ordering a book subscription box! (or something else, I haven’t quite decided this one yet.)
This way of thinking about my goals has been so different from what I’ve done in the past. I’m excited about what 2018 has in store for Griffin and I and baby V. Life goes by so fast, and this year I really want to focus on the things that matter most.
What are some of your goals for 2018? Did you pick a word for this year, what is it? I can’t wait to hear what your goals are!