Life lately has been incredibly weird, busy, and a little overwhelming. I made a goal to blog every day this month, and well… that hasn’t happened at all. This morning, I woke up in my grandparent’s house in St. George. After spending most of this past week in Colorado with Griffin’s parents we headed down to St. George with my family to see Newsies at the Tuacahn. It’s been a fun week, and I’ll be a little sad when it’s back to real life.
But as I sat thinking this morning, I couldn’t help but ask myself “am I happy with my life right now?” “am I happy with who I am right now?” That second question hit me hard because, in a lot of ways, the answer is no. I notice myself complaining all too often, over things that usually don’t matter. I feel as though I’ve been lazy for no reason at all and not really having the motivation to do anything. Thankfully, some of these might be easier fixes than others.
Why I blog.
It’s funny how I set a goal to blog every day this month, I even planned out a post for every day. Posts that I still hope to write in the future, but this month it wasn’t happening. I had no desire to sit down and write blog posts. This morning I was scrolling through Instagram and I clicked on a blogger that I used to read religiously, and she made it easy, as she blogs every weekday, but I clicked on her blog and started to read. I have always LOVED reading Stephanie Nielson’s blog. Her words fill me with hope, and even though not all of our personal values are exactly the same, I find so much joy as I read her blog.
And that’s when it hit me.
I’ve been trying so hard to make my blog into something that I don’t want. I follow a lot of bloggers on social media, but I realized that I haven’t actually been reading their blogs all that much. I mean, I do sometimes, but most of the time what they are talking about isn’t interesting to me. But NieNie Dialogues was interesting to me again today.
Living the life I want.
I want to blog, write, read, and be me. I created this blog so that I could share my story with the world, that’s the purpose of it. If you’re looking for a fashion blogger or a blogger who writes about blogging, you’re not going to find it here.
Life get’s crazy sometimes, and I feel like this is a lesson I’ve learned over and over again, that I need to hold fast to my values. I don’t need to be anyone else. I’m Taylor, and that’s enough. Books are my favorite thing, talking about mental health is important to me, sharing my experiences helps me move forward. So, I may not be the most popular blogger, maybe I’ll never be Instagram famous, but even from the beginning, those things haven’t mattered to me.
Keeping it real.
I want to be real about my challenges, but also my victories. Talking about mental health helps me dig deep into the emotions that I’m feeling but don’t always want to acknowledge. Being real on my blog and in life is important to me. So, I guess all these jumbled thoughts from today come down to this, a promise to my readers.
I promise to write fairly consistently on my blog (at least once a week.) I promise to write about life, mental health, books, and all the things that I’m passionate about. And I promise to keep it real, and I hope you do the same.